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  • Writer's pictureBev Spritzer

What do we want? POCKETS!

Updated: May 3, 2023

If you identify as female you already know: The most glorious, nay, luxurious feature you can find on any traditionally female garment is... A POCKET.


Ideally two.

More if possible.


It's just common sense utility. Men's clothes all have pockets. They never have to think about it. Phones, keys, wallets, snacks, whatever they want, wherever they want! The world is their pocket! Meanwhile, I'm over here sewing my own goddamn pockets into my own goddamn dress, as though I have nothing better, or more important, or even more enjoyable to do.

As though I don't have an upcoming appointment to dramatically faint on my fainting couch which I already rescheduled twice and I don't want to be difficult.


Like, you manufacture pink sparkly razors with FIVE FUCKING BLADES, could you maybe take that same gusto you have for pretending we don't have body hair and apply it to clothing design?


Look, we can pretend this affects you too, okay?


"Hey, is that a [ ] in your pocket, or are ya just happy to see me! ;)"

"It's neither. I don't have pockets."


If I don't have pockets I can't:

  • Respond appropriately to your favourite pickup line that somehow suggests I also have a penis?

  • Remember where I left my phone at any given moment because I AM BUSY.

  • Get an accurate step count because, again, I'm not physically holding my phone in my hand at all times due to LIVING MY LIFE.

  • Carry any of the things I want to carry unless I add a PURSE into the mix, which, honestly, EFF THAT (but also more about that later).

  • Use my hands wildly, freely, with reckless abandon.

  • Secretly pass around women's lib pamphlets in the street.


What do we want? POCKETS! When do we want 'em? IDEALLY HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO BUT WE'LL SETTLE FOR NOW!


You know where this all began, right? This is a patriarchy thing, and, like most patriarchy things, it's rooted in power and control.


Some fun (if slightly reductionist) feminist history for ya: ZERO women's clothing used to have pockets. Not unless we sewed them in ourselves. Know why? Men didn't want us to ORGANIZE. If we had pockets, we could secretly circulate suffragette pamphlets. We could hold information. We could have personal possessions, which could lead to personal ideas, which could lead to longing for personal rights, which could lead to FIGHTING FOR THEM.


If we didn't have pockets, nothing could ever really be ours. We didn't have private lives because all we did was sit around cross stitching by the window all day, maybe we'd cook or bake some things if our husbands requested something specific, tidy up the home a bit, dramatically faint on a fainting couch (time permitting, also by the window).


If we had any secrets, we needed to keep them hidden in our stiffly pinned up hair.


When out and about, what would we even need to carry on our person if our husbands could just carry it for us? So kind! So selfless! No noisy house keys or money jangling about as we walked. And certainly no documentation of our secret will to have, just like, a few silly li'l fundamental human rights. Nothing to worry our pretty little heads about, or add unnecessary bulkiness to our delicate lady silhouettes.


The truth is, even today, pockets are liberating AF.

The patriarchy knew this. And they still know this, because honestly, why is it still SO FUCKING DIFFICULT to find women's clothes with pockets!? Especially formal attire. Especially athletic attire. Especially literally anything I want to wear as I go about my day as a human woman existing in the world.


Oh, it's probably because (here comes the part about purses!) even though we have a few more rights today than we did several decades ago, the global handbag industry is currently worth a most bananas $49.63 billion USD (approx. $66.5 billion CAD), and it's only projected to grow. But listen... here, come closer, I have a really great business idea, I want to whisper it in your ear with my delicate lady voice, are you listening? What if... hear me out... you made fewer expensive purses and instead used the money for the additional fabric required TO PUT POCKETS ON THINGS!!


Sorry for shouting in your ear, it was funny to me, but also surely I'm not the first person to think of this?


Want more people (like, approximately half-of-the-world's-population-more) to buy more of the clothing you make?

JUST ADD POCKETS!


Want someone to purchase the pants or skirt or blazer you designed over someone else's?

PUT A POCKET ON IT!


Oh! And while I have you here... mayyyybe consider paying each woman more than the current 73 cents on the dollar that each man makes working the SAME JOB!


If you can!

Again, sorry for shouting.


I don't want to be difficult.



[Attached image from Acre & Holt UK].

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