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  • Writer's pictureBev Spritzer

An incomplete compendium of my very toxic traits.

Updated: Apr 11, 2023















I will unfailingly apply hand cream *right before* I need to do something extremely dexterous like open a tiny container, or turn a regular-sized doorknob.


I will put peanut butter on literally anything.


I find books organized by colour very aesthetically pleasing.


I carry ginger candies on my person at all times, just in case there's a ginger emergency.


I also carry earplugs with me everywhere I go, for basically the same reason.


I am easily startled by toast.


If the ice cream from the freezer is too frozen I will just hack at it with a fork or spiky grapefruit spoon to get it into my mouth with zero wait time.


If the ice cream from the freezer has bits inside, I will excavate all of the bits, eat them, and then reconstitute the rest of the ice cream in the container like nothing happened.


I find the sound of synth irresistible AF.


I love the cold and the winter with every ounce of my being, I have been pretending to tolerate summer my entire life but I hate the heat SO MUCH and I count down the days til I can count on the days to become progressively shorter and colder.


I hate the feeling of sand on my feet.


I very unironically love pumpkin spice.


I'll find a way to work tahini into everything I bake if it's the last thing I do, because I only enjoy it in sweet preparations.


I'm terrified of seafood.


I love green juice.


I've eaten candy for lunch and I'll do it again.








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